


In which Phil is pretty dumb, but not dumb enough to pass up a great thing when he sees it

by EmonyDeborah



Series: Seize the Day and Seize the May [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, AU, Academy Era, Bus Kids - Freeform, F/M, Garrett is here but not really, Idiots in Love, Jemma is traumatized, Las Vegas, Maria isn't paid enough to deal with this, Marriage, Phil Coulson is whipped, Relationship Reveal, Season 1, Season 2, Secret Relationship, Vic is a responsible adult, and the rest of them have to deal with it, elopement, the cabbie isn't paid enough to deal with this, they are all afraid of spiders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26254726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmonyDeborah/pseuds/EmonyDeborah
Summary: After two-and-a-half years training to be a SHIELD agent and two years dating Melinda May, Phil Coulson knew to expect the unexpected.  The strange and unusual were SHIELD’s purview, and Phil was becoming very comfortable with them.None of that prepared him to open his door at 2:30 a.m. on a stormy Wednesday morning to find Melinda May, dripping wet and panting in a tank top and shorts.New home for happy stuff in this universe. Might start a new work for the angsty stuff.
Relationships: Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Series: Seize the Day and Seize the May [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017385
Comments: 16
Kudos: 93





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello hello! I haven't posted anything in ages, and nothing in this fandom, but the last season got me emotional. I hope you enjoy!

After two-and-a-half years training to be a SHIELD agent and two years dating Melinda May, Phil Coulson knew to expect the unexpected. He rarely let anything faze him anymore- fancy new gadgets that could expand into a reflective barrier and conceal the user from the human eye, or crack any lock, or scan someone’s retinas, or any number of weird things, had become standard for him. He didn’t blink when he was taught what was  _ really  _ in Area 51 (though he spent several hours researching the topic later), and when his tiny Asian girlfriend took down yet another huge  _ (huge)  _ senior cadet without breaking a sweat he wasn’t remotely shocked. It was all part of what he had signed up for, and he was learning to roll with the punches.

Fury appreciated that in him- Phil could walk into a truly bizarre situation, blink, get his bearings, and walk out with all the relevant information. The strange and unusual were SHIELD’s purview, and Phil was becoming very comfortable with them.

None of that prepared him to open his door at 2:30 a.m. on a stormy Wednesday morning to find Melinda May, dripping wet and panting in a tank top and shorts. Phil rubbed his eyes. She was still there when his hands dropped from his face.

“Melinda-? How did you-?” He poked his head out his door to glance up and down the hall; May wasn’t supposed to be in the men’s dorms at all, let alone on his floor. “Did you run here?” In the dark it was impossible to make out her expression, but her chest was heaving. Phil glanced back into his room to make sure Garrett was still sleeping soundly, and grimaced at his snoring. He turned back to Melinda when he heard her teeth rattling, and frowned when he rubbed her shoulder and found it was ice cold.

“Melinda, what’s going on?” he whispered as he pulled his SHIELD-issued jacket off a hook. He threw it around her shoulders.

“This is it for you, right?” Phil froze in the middle of tucking the jacket closed under her chin. The dim light from his alarm clock reflected off Melinda’s eyes looking up into his, but he still couldn’t read her expression. “We’re it?”

Phil’s chest grew tight. He hadn’t felt anything off between them lately; if anything, their relationship had been growing deeper since they had started taking short field assignments. Being without each other for any length of time had proven they were at their best together, and what more could he ask from a relationship? He couldn’t think of anything, but maybe May could.

“What are you saying?” he asked, his hands still tight on the jacket, unwilling to let her slip away.

“It’s us, together, forever, right?” There was something desperately hopeful in her voice he hadn’t registered when she had first spoken, and for a second he was just relieved she didn’t seem to be breaking up with him. Then he realized she hadn’t just been talking; she had asked him a question.

“Yes,” he said without a trace of a doubt, and slid his hands up to her face. Her dark eyes didn’t leave his as he stepped closer. “This is it for me.”

* * *

He saw her for the first time at orientation. Everyone saw her- she was gorgeous, and based on the whispers flying around the hall, the name ‘May’ was a famous one in the intelligence community. But Phil was in the ‘C’s and she was in the ‘M’s, and even if they hadn’t been in alphabetical order Phil got the impression she would have had a lingering crowd around her no matter what. 

She smiled wickedly at the first cadet to flirt with her, and after that, wherever she went, every man in the room was tripping over himself to catch her attention. In an academy where everyone was training to be spies, gossip flew around the school in less than two days- she was Lian May’s daughter, old friends with Peggy Carter, only 17, hadn’t even graduated high school before her mother had conned her into the academy.

When Phil had been recruited six months before term started at the academy, Fury had told him he was one of the youngest to attend in academy history. Most recruits outside the SciTech academy had a degree by the time they joined, Fury had told him. To join at 20 with half a history degree was almost unheard of.

Phil didn’t like to believe rumors, but he thought if May was really 17, she was either some kind of prodigy or her mother really had pulled in some favors.

Everyone was waiting for her to fail, to prove she didn’t deserve to be here, or it seemed like everyone. Her suitemates, Victoria Hand and Maria Hill, didn’t seem too concerned with the rumors, and Phil himself tried to keep his nose out of what he didn’t see as his business. But it seemed like everywhere she turned, someone was either trying to flirt with her or trying to trip her up, and Phil would have felt sorry for her if she hadn’t seemed entirely unaffected by it all. She shot down every poor sap in a way that made them think they had gotten somewhere, and she answered every false smile with a dangerous glare. Within a week, she had a reputation, and no one had even gotten to know her yet.

The first class Phil had with her was Introduction to Hand-to-Hand Combat. They were joined by about 40 other classmates, most of them men, and most of them over six feet tall. After thirty minutes, May was called forward to demonstrate the move they had been drilling, and Phil heard several snickers as she wove her way through everyone. The instructor asked for a volunteer, and Phil raised his hand before he knew what he was doing. He hadn’t liked the dark gleam that had appeared in the other cadets’ eyes when they were given the chance to pummel Melinda May into the ground.

“I’ll go,” he called, and the instructor waved him forward.

May faced him with an inscrutable look, and Phil nodded awkwardly. He had never realized how very tiny she was; out of her normal boots she was at least five inches shorter than him. This was ridiculous, he couldn’t fight her, his mother had raised a gentleman, not a jerk who slammed small women to the ground. Even if that was the exercise.

“Um,” he said, half-raising his hands into a defensive position, “hi.” Her flat expression twitched. “I’m Phil.” She tilted her head and glanced at the instructor, who nodded. “How exactly are we supposed to-”

The floor was the ceiling, her shoulder was digging into his stomach, and then she was pinning him to the ground. For a second all Phil could do was stare up at her, but he only realized he was gawking when she pursed her lips.

“Wow,” he said, because it was the only word that came to mind. “Okay.” The hard look in her eyes cleared into something like confusion. “That was- can I get up?” Definitely confusion. She frowned down at him for a moment before jerking his arms up into a stress position.

“Don’t go easy on me,” she said, as if she had read his thoughts earlier. Phil pressed his lips together, trying not to show the strain.

“Yes, ma’am,” he grunted, and a smile flickered across her face. She let him sweat another second before rising fluidly off his chest and giving him a hand up. He followed her off the mat, and she stayed with him for the rest of class.

* * *

Somehow, in his first six months at the academy, Phil found himself becoming best friends with the most popular girl in his class.

Once Melinda- she started as May, but quickly became Melinda- had proven herself to be more than capable, the legacy rumors had petered out. Suddenly everyone wanted to be her friend, wanted her at their table in the cafeteria, wanted her as their partner on a project. And Melinda wasn’t rude, but she mostly kept to herself and her suitemates. And Phil.

Phil and Melinda became each other’s study dates, sparring partners, and late-night existential crisis confidants. Phil learned her favorite foods, her least favorite classmates, and that she got up at an ungodly hour every morning. He helped her with history and she drilled him in hand-to-hand; he watched movies with her, Maria, and Vic, and during exam season he frequently woke up in their suite, his face stuck to a textbook. When her mother went missing on assignment, Phil wrapped her in a blanket on her couch and sat with her through the night, waiting for news. On the anniversary of his dad’s death, May watched all the old Captain America cartoons he wanted and held his hand under the table during class.

Neither of them remembered deciding to become friends, they just did, and Phil had never felt more at ease with anyone.

On his 21st birthday, he planned to sneak her into a bar to celebrate, but Vic caught wind of it and threatened to tie Melinda to the roof if they tried. Melinda complained and called Vic a killjoy, and Vic stole some rope from the gym, so Phil gave Melinda a helpless shrug and let Maria and Garrett, who had both joined at the more standard age of 22, take him out for drinks. Garrett disappeared with some blonde about fifteen minutes into the ‘celebration’, leaving Maria to tease Phil for the ridiculous face he made at his first shot of vodka.

“Have you seriously never had vodka?” she asked after knocking back her own shot. Phil glared at her through his coughs and she grinned. “I kinda wish May could see this, she’d fall over laughing.”

“She would not,” Phil said, shaking his head when the bartender approached them again. The remnants of his shot were still burning the back of his throat. “Unlike you, Melinda is nice to me.” Maria rolled her eyes.

“When are you going to come out with it, Phil?” she asked, and gave his confusion an unimpressed grimace. “Vic and I know you’re dating, you don’t have to hide it.” Phil burst into renewed coughs and Maria slapped him on the back, looking genuinely concerned. “Are you- could he have some water, please? Breathe, Phil-”

“We’re- not- Melinda and I-”

“Calm down,” Maria said, and shoved a glass of water into his hands. “Come on, drink- geez, what was that about? You can’t seriously think it’s a secret?”

“Melinda and I aren’t together,” Phil said, gasping. “We’re not- why would you think-?” Maria frowned at him, looking almost alarmed.

“Are you serious? You really don’t- this is ridiculous.” She flagged the bartender down and he gave her another shot. She gulped it down before continuing. “You’re practically married, all that’s left is to move in together.”

Phil’s brain had short-circuited at some point, and he watched her with his mouth gaping. Maria shook his shoulders. “Phil! Are you listening to me? May likes you! And everyone knows you like her-”

“Whoa, hey, no I don’t,” Phil protested, and even to his own ears he sounded way too defensive. “Melinda’s great, but she’s my best friend. And she’s 17, it wouldn’t be-”

“She’s turning 18 next month.” 

It was absurd how easily it all came to the surface.

As if a lock had been flicked open, Phil’s mind completely reevaluated everything he thought he felt for Melinda, and he was caught up in a whirl of all the feelings he hadn’t let himself acknowledge. 

He hadn’t wanted to fall in love with her for fear it would wreck their friendship, and her age had been the barrier he had constructed to keep his attraction and affection at bay, despite the fact they were less than four years apart. But that barrier was gone, leaving everything to spill out.

Maria got another shot and just sipped on it, watching Phil with detached interest as he went through a mini-existential crisis. “You get it?” Phil looked at her with wide eyes.

“I’m in trouble.”

* * *

For weeks, he saw his feelings as a problem he had to solve, and became jumpy around Melinda for reasons he refused to explain until she confronted him in the library the night before her birthday.

“What’s going on, Phil?” she demanded in a hiss. Not even Melinda was willing to cross the librarian. “And don’t tell me it’s nothing; you and Maria have both been acting weird since your birthday.” Phil looked up at her and deflated; he knew not to bother lying. She would see straight through him.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ll deal with it, I promise.”

“Deal with what?” She was leaning over his table and her face was less than a foot from his, and he almost told her she was beautiful when she was angry. But he didn’t have a death wish.

“My feelings,” he mumbled, and a part of him hoped she wouldn’t hear him. 

“Your feelings?” She looked absolutely crushed but it quickly masked over, and Phil cursed himself. Of course she didn’t feel the same way. “For Maria?”

“For- what? No, I’m not- why would you think-?”

“Like I said, you’ve both been acting weird.” She straightened away from him and crossed her arms defensively, looking down at the floor. “I thought maybe you were dating or something.”

“We’re not,” Phil said on autopilot. He could not make heads or tails of Melinda’s behavior, and his confusion deepened when she looked back up at him with a shy expression.

“Then what feelings?” she asked softly, and he swallowed.

“My feelings for you,” he admitted quietly. “It’s completely unfair to you, and I’m sorry. I promise I’ll work it out.”

“What-?”

“You are the most important person in the world to me,” Phil said in a rush. “And I don’t want to mess up our friendship. Forget I said anything.” Melinda tilted her head and gave him the same undecipherable look she had given him when they first sparred, as if she were trying to figure out his motives.

“Is it because I’m 17?” she asked, and he sagged. “Is that why you’re so uncomfortable?”

“That, and we’ll be working together hopefully our entire careers,” Phil said. “But, like I said, I’ll deal with it. Don’t worry about me.” Melinda opened her mouth, but he cut her off. “I’ll see you in the morning.” She stared at him for a minute and eventually took a breath as if she were about to say something, but in the end she just turned and strode out of the room. It took all of Phil’s strength not to watch her leave.

* * *

He didn’t mean to fall asleep in the library, but he knew Garrett would notice his gloom and needle him endlessly, so Phil just worked later and later until someone cleared their throat and he startled awake. 

“Have you been here all night?” Phil blinked. 

“Uh… I guess so.” Melinda crossed her arms and leaned all her weight onto one leg, jutting her hip out. She raised her eyebrows. Phil blinked owlishly up at her, still lying on his notes. 

“Get up, Phil.” It didn’t occur to him to disobey. He rubbed his face and blinked, hard, to shake the sleep away, and got to his feet. Melinda took a step to the side so the table wasn’t between them. 

“I’m 18, now, Phil.” 

“... what?” He remembered their conversation vividly, but he instantly dismissed the idea that she meant what he thought she meant. He had misunderstood everything so far, and he didn’t intend to make any more assumptions. 

Melinda rolled her eyes, and before Phil could comprehend what was happening she grabbed his shirt and yanked him down into a kiss. 

It wasn’t real it wasn’t real it wasn’t real- but if it wasn’t real, there was no harm in playing along, right? Phil didn’t try to rationalize it further; he wrapped his hands around Melinda’s waist and she slid her arms up around his neck. Her lips were soft against his and she sank deeper and deeper into the kiss, to the point he was practically holding her up, pressed flush against him. It was the exact opposite of anything he’d ever thought she would do, and he realized with a start that his best friend was really kissing him.

He froze, and she broke away. She gave him a hard look, as if she were daring him to deny his feelings now. But behind the defensiveness, there was fear, too, and Phil tightened his grip on her waist.

“Wow,” he said, but her expression didn’t change. Phil leaned his forehead down to hers and she stared up into his eyes. Somehow, she still feared rejection, and Phil’s heart swooped as it hit him again- this was real, Melinda was in his arms, and she wanted to stay there. “Okay.” She cocked an eyebrow in an unimpressed look, but her shoulders relaxed.

“‘Okay’?” she said. He traced a finger over her cheek, and she somehow managed to look offended as she melted into his touch. “I kiss you and you say ‘okay’?” Phil grinned. 

“You kissed me.” For the first time in Phil’s memory, Melinda tried and failed to roll her eyes. She smiled. 

“Yes I did,” she said, and she sounded almost giddy. “Should I do it again?” Phil tilted his head so their noses brushed together. 

“Mm-hmm,” was his only reply before he sealed his lips to hers. She gasped a little before she smiled against his lips, fingernails raking over his scalp. 

In between threading his fingers through Melinda’s hair to cup the back of her head and hauling her behind a shelf to avoid the librarian, Phil decided to pay special attention to Melinda’s birthday for as many years as she’d let him.

* * *

Phil kissed her softly and stroked his thumb over her cheek. She shivered, but it had nothing to do with being dripping wet in the freezing hallway.

“What brought this on?” he asked, and her hands snaked out of his jacket to grab his wrists. “Melinda-”

“Say it again,” she said, and Phil frowned down at her but complied. 

“This is it for me,” he said. “I love you, and this is it for me.” She stared up at him, taking deep breaths as if she were gathering her courage. Phil kept one hand on her cheek and swept her bangs off her face with the other, waiting for an explanation.

“Then let’s get married.”

* * *

He wasn’t hard to convince, once he was certain she wasn’t joking or delirious. 

“I want to marry you because I love you,” Melinda said firmly, and Phil believed her. “And because we work well together, and I want to spend my life with you.” Phil grinned and rested his forehead on hers. 

“Sounds like you’ve thought about this,” he teased, but he didn’t feel her facial muscles morph into a smile. She was completely serious, and his heart skipped a beat. Phil kissed her; he couldn’t help himself. 

“I think that would be amazing. And perfect. And- just- really great,” he said, and kissed her again. She smiled against his lips. 

“Yeah?” she said, and her cheeks lifted under his hands as she grinned. 

“Yeah,” Phil said. “I love you, too, and I want a life with you. Let’s do it.”

“Twenty minutes. Meet me out front. Bring enough for two days.” Phil blinked. 

“What- you wanna do this now?” Melinda nodded. 

“You pack. I’ll call a taxi and get us tickets.”

“Tickets? Tickets to where?” Melinda pressed a giddy kiss to his lips and he almost forgot his question. 

“Vegas.” She left without another word, still with his jacket hanging around her shoulders. Phil stared after her for twenty seconds before he turned and darted to his wardrobe. 

It took him eight minutes to throw everything he needed into a bag, and three more minutes to dig a small box out of his sock drawer where he had hidden it two months earlier. He didn’t bother leaving a note for Garrett or anyone else; he trusted Melinda to tell Vic and Maria what they needed to know. He barely managed to remember to throw some clothes on that weren’t boxers and an old t-shirt before he slipped out of his room, shutting the door carefully behind him before sprinting down the hall. 

Melinda was waiting on the edge of campus when he ran out of his dorm with an umbrella. 

“I got us a flight, departs in two hours,” she yelled over the rain as Phil approached. “It’s cutting it close, but-” Phil pulled her under his umbrella and kissed her again. They stumbled back against the taxi and the driver twisted in his seat. 

“Can’t you wait ten seconds?” he barked. “Get in the cab!”

* * *

It took an hour to get to the airport, and after that it was a mad dash to get through security and to their gate in time. They were among the last to board, and once Phil stowed their bags and prodded Melinda into buckling up, Melinda latched onto his arm, pillowed her head on his shoulder, and promptly fell asleep. Phil smiled and kissed her head.

Melinda slept for most of the flight. Apparently all the adrenaline of their impending impulsive marriage had worn off, and after a few hours Phil found himself nodding off, too.

Las Vegas was  _ hot,  _ even in the early morning, and Phil and Melinda blinked in the sunlight outside the airport. Melinda laced her fingers through Phil’s and tugged him towards a line of buses.

“So what’s the plan?” Phil asked as the bus took them into the city. Melinda hadn’t let go of his hand.

“Hotel,” she said. “Showers. Wedding chapel.” Phil nodded. They held eye contact for about five seconds before neither of them could keep from grinning. The bus was mostly empty and they were in the back anyway, so Phil slipped his hands around Melinda’s waist as she wrapped her arms around his neck. They didn’t normally like public displays of affection, but it was their wedding day, Phil thought, they had the right. But he did break away before they progressed to a full make-out session in the back of a bus.

“What about rings?” he asked, and swiped an errant hair off her face. She was  _ gorgeous,  _ and  _ smart  _ and  _ deadly  _ and  _ perfect-  _ what had he done to deserve this?

Melinda shrugged. “They sell them at the wedding chapel,” she said. “Do you want to wear rings?” Phil nodded, and despite the fact it was probably worse than making out, pulled Melinda into his lap so they weren’t twisted awkwardly to hold each other in the bus seats. Melinda slung her arms around his shoulders and crossed her ankles. “Me, too. Silver.” Phil nodded again. “Anything else you think we should do?” Phil wrapped his arms more securely around her waist and pretended to consider.

“There is one thing.” His bag was at his feet, and Melinda lifted it into her chair for him. He yanked it open with one hand and unzipped an inner pocket. “Just so everyone knows you’re taken. Can’t risk someone sweeping you off your feet.” Melinda rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.

“If all goes according to plan, we’ll be married in about three hours.” Phil narrowed his eyes as if he were mulling it over, then shook his head.

“Like I said, can’t risk it.”

“Phil, what-?” Phil pulled the box out of his bag, and her eyes widened. Her linked fingers slackened around his shoulder.

“I wasn’t  _ planning  _ on giving this to you until we finished our first mission as agents, but lucky for you, I’m always prepared.” Phil opened the box with one hand, and Melinda’s breath caught.

It wasn’t a very extravagant ring- in fact, it was pretty subdued. He had wanted something she could wear all the time, so instead of one big diamond, he had selected a silver ring with three smaller diamonds in a row.

Melinda said nothing, and Phil’s heart rate skyrocketed as he realized he must have made a mistake- she didn’t like it-

Then Melinda was kissing him, and Phil snapped the box shut to make sure the ring didn’t roll away somewhere before he kissed her back.

“I love you,” Melinda mumbled against his mouth, and Phil grinned. She smacked his shoulder but kept kissing him until she pulled back for air. Phil smiled at her, slightly stunned.

“You like it, then?” he asked. Melinda wrapped her arms more around his neck and nestled her head between her arm and his cheek. Phil stroked one hand up and down her spine.

“You wanted to marry me already.” Her voice was muffled, and Phil kissed the side of her head.

“Yep. That was the plan.” Phil held her until they were almost to the bus stop. Melinda seemed content to sit in his arms in silence, expressing her affection in the way she was most comfortable. Phil thought of having Melinda every day for the rest of his life- Melinda and her habitual silence, her smile, her teasing, the way she could give him a look and his life would flash before his eyes. The idea put a giddy grin on his face.

“Do you want to try it on?” he asked eventually, holding up the ringbox. Melinda sat up on his lap. “Vic got me your ring size- don’t ask me how- so it should fit.” Melinda held up her left hand, and Phil slid the ring onto her finger. Melinda stared down at it for a moment, twisted it a few times with her thumb, then abruptly crashed her lips to Phil’s.

“I like it,” she mumbled, clutching the lapels of his jacket, and Phil smiled into the kiss.

* * *

The hotel they could afford wasn’t exactly luxurious, but it was clean, the shower had good water pressure, and the bed was very soft, which Phil tried not to think about too much while he waited for Melinda to finish showering. He also tried not to think about her showering. It was a losing battle, but he made a valiant effort.

They were going to get married. Melinda May wanted to marry him. A goofy grin spread across his face.

He expected doubts, or at least jitters, but there were none. He was nervous, to be sure, but not at the thought of spending his life with Melinda. She had decided to choose him, and he knew he would gladly do anything to make her happy. But there was the question of whether he  _ could,  _ whether he would make a good husband, whether they could continue to make this work through a career in SHIELD. If he had to choose between Melinda and SHIELD, what would he pick?

He knew before he even finished the question. Yes, he had worked for years to be a part of SHIELD, but SHIELD wouldn’t be his life forever, and he knew Melinda would. Besides, before Fury and the Academy and a whole world of secrets and adventure, everyone had thought he would make a pretty good teacher. There was always that if he had to leave SHIELD.

Phil heard the shower shut off and the curtain swish open, and he abruptly launched himself into a whirl of thoughts to keep from imagining what Melinda was doing.

Melinda Melinda Melinda. They were going to get married. In a few hours they would be married, and they would come back to this room with its soft bed and-

Phil gulped. He wasn’t helping himself. In the bathroom, Melinda turned on the hotel hairdryer, and Phil took a deep breath, trying not to sweat. He only had the one nice shirt.

Melinda hadn’t shown him what she would be wearing, but it was difficult to imagine her in white or anything close to it. Purple, maybe, if she didn’t want to wear black, but nothing lighter. Phil didn’t really care what she walked out in- she always managed to take his breath away- but part of him hoped she would wear a dress, even a black dress. He had never seen her in anything but jeans or slacks, or her skintight operations suit.

Phil tapped out a nervous rhythm on his thighs. Melinda turned off the hairdryer and he heard her unzip something, possibly her makeup bag. Phil felt like he was about to explode, but Melinda never took long with makeup. He had watched her apply it, once, and the speed and precision of her brushes had been astounding.

With absolutely no warning that Phil heard- there might have been footsteps, but the blood rushing in his ears drowned them out- the bathroom door swung open, and there she was.

She was beautiful. Her hair flowed down her shoulders in waves, and her dress-

“You’re wearing white,” Phil croaked. “You’re- you look- wow.” Melinda smirked and strode past him to her bag. Phil opened his mouth, but Melinda cut him off.

“If you say ‘okay’, I will tie you up in the shower curtain.” Phil shut his mouth with a click and watched from the bed as Melinda pulled on a pair of white sandals. She straightened, and her dress flared out as she spun to face him. Phil grinned.

“This is definitely in a league way beyond ‘okay’,” he agreed, and her lips twitched into a smile. She stepped up to the bed to stand between his legs, and Phil rested his hands on her hips. She raked her fingers through his hair a few times, parting it this way and that, then cupped his face and stroked her thumbs over his cheekbones.

“You ready?” she asked, leaning down towards his lips. Her nose brushed his, and he smiled.

“Absolutely.”

Her kiss was slow and passionate and full of promise, and Phil found that his nerves were gone.

* * *

It was easy to marry her. The judge seemed to speak unbearably slowly, but then Phil finally got to kiss her.

Melinda.

His  _ wife. _

* * *

Phil collapsed back into the bed, panting, and Melinda did the same beside him.

“I think we should do that every morning,” he said once he caught his breath, and Melinda laughed.

“What, four times last night wasn’t enough?” Phil grinned at the memory, and Melinda smacked him with a pillow. He waved it off, laughing, and grabbed Melinda by the arm to drag her on top of him.

“Hey, if we wanna become experts at this, we’ve got to practice.”

Melinda laced her fingers through his, then pinned his arms above his head. Phil’s eyes danced and he opened his mouth, but Melinda cut him off with a warning look.

“I wasn’t kidding, Phil. The shower curtains.”

“As long as you come with me,” Phil said without missing a beat.

Melinda laughed and leaned down to kiss him.


	2. 5+1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5 Times Phil and May were really married +1 time the kids finally figured it out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk. it was fun

**1\. Fitz**

“Phil.”

“I’m not touching you!”

“You’re being unprofessional.”

“How is this unprofessional?” May pursed her lips but he couldn’t see her face; she was looking over some data on the table and he had his hands on either side of her, looking over her shoulder at the same data. He wasn’t lying- somehow he had her trapped against the table without actually touching her, but it was still an intimate position to be caught in.

“Phil.”

“I’m looking at the report,” he said, and wrapped his arms around her to half-lift her out of the way. “Can you see from here?” May dropped her hands to her sides, and she knew Phil had picked up on her exasperation when he chuckled. “I’m comfortable like this.”

“You’re being obnoxious.” May wriggled out of his arms and he let her go, grinning. “One of them is going to see.” Phil widened his eyes in a perfectly innocent look, and May rolled her eyes.

“See what?” he said, and smiled his infuriating, knowing smile. May held his gaze and he held his smile, until after a moment May’s lips twitched and she looked back down at the table. Phil grinned in triumph. 

“I think I’m being very professional,” he said, and May let herself laugh. It was short, but it filled the command center and lit up her face, and Phil’s eyes softened at the sound.

“If this is you being ‘professional,’ someone would have sued you a long time ago.”

* * *

“I’m telling you, Jemma, I saw what I saw!” Neither Fitz nor Simmons heard Skye enter the lab, they were too wrapped in their argument. Fitz’s hands were flailing around in distress and Jemma rolled her eyes.

“Really Fitz, I’m sure it was nothing.” Fitz opened his mouth to retort, but Skye interjected before he could speak.

“What was nothing?” she asked, and Fitz whirled around to face her. Fitz placed a hand over his heart and let out a relieved breath, and Jemma smiled brightly.

“Hello, Skye!” Jemma chirped, as if they hadn’t just seen each other at breakfast three hours ago. “How was training?” Skye shrugged. She still hadn’t gotten much of a read on Agent Ward, but so far he seemed like a tough instructor, whatever they were working on.

“Fine. I beat Ward at Battleship.” Fitzsimmons grinned. “What are you guys talking about?” Fitz’s smile was replaced with a grim look, and Jemma rolled her eyes again.

“Fitz,” she said, and drew out his name with a mocking look, “is under the impression that Agents Coulson and May are-” Fitz shushed her, leaning around the holotable to check all the doors. Jemma pursed her lips but lowered her voice. “-in an- um- an intimate relationship.” Skye’s eyebrows jumped up and she turned to Fitz for more details. He flushed.

“Why?” Skye prompted. “Did you catch them- you know-” She raised her hands in the beginning of a lewd gesture, but Fitzsimmons’ faces were both so red they were purple before she could do anything but nod suggestively. Skye gave them an exasperated look and let her hands fall. “How old are you two?”

“Not old enough for whatever you were about to do,” said Jemma, and Skye smirked.

“Well, did you?” she asked, and Fitz shook his head.

“No, but this morning up in the command center-”

“They’re doing it in the command center?” Jemma paled and Fitz turned a delicate shade of green. “Sorry.”

“As I was saying,” Fitz said after a moment, “this morning they were up in the Command Center, and Agent Coulson said something-”

“What? What did he say?” Skye asked eagerly. Fitz gave her a frustrated look. “Sorry.”

“I didn’t hear what he said,” Fitz admitted. “But,” he said significantly, “whatever it was, it made Agent May _laugh.”_ Skye waited a beat, but that appeared to be the end of the story. Fitz nodded slowly, as if he had just said something profound and mildly disturbing. Skye and Jemma shared a glance.

“That’s it?” Fitz’s mouth fell open in indignance, and Jemma giggled.

“You- did you hear what I just said? She _laughed,_ Skye. _Laughed.”_ Skye shrugged.

“They’ve known each other, like, forever, right? Why is that so huge?”

“It’s not,” Jemma said, shaking her head in fond exasperation. “I’m surprised at you, Fitz, of course Agent May laughs.”

“But have you ever heard her do it?” Fitz demanded, and Jemma hesitated.

“Well, no-”

“Exactly.” Jemma pursed her lips and shared another look with Skye. They both smiled. Fitz glanced between them and crossed his arms with a huff.

“Fine,” he said as Jemma crossed the lab to look over some samples. “Laugh. But I’m telling you, something is going on there.”

**2\. Jemma**

“May-”

“I’m fine, Phil.” Her sharp tone would have warded off almost anyone else, but Phil didn’t waver. He crossed his arms and met her hard look.

“Where are you hurt?” he asked firmly, and May pursed her lips.

“I’m not hurt, just sore. I’ll be fine after a shower.” She moved to leave his office, but Phil wouldn’t let her pass. She glared at him. He nodded at his tiny sofa.

“Face down,” he said, in a tone that brooked no argument. May gave him a dangerous look and opened her mouth to object, but he cut her off. “Melinda.” He said her name as gently as he could, and her resistance crumbled. She slipped off her leather vest and draped it over the arm of the sofa, and arranged herself across the cushions. Phil laid his jacket over his chair and rolled up his sleeves. May rested her head on her hands, and let her eyes slip closed.

“Where is it the worst?” Phil asked quietly, running his fingers up her back and over her shoulders, probing for knots. He pressed his thumbs on either side of her spine, between her shoulderblades, and her breath hitched. “There?”

“Mmm.”

Phil worked between her shoulderblades for a few minutes, progressing from his knuckles to his thumbs to just his fingertips. She tensed under his touch, unused to letting him care for her in this way, but Phil just pressed her shoulders into a relaxed position and ran his fingers through her hair until she uncoiled like a cat. He kissed the back of her head and ran his fingers off her back until the last bit of tension faded.

“Anywhere else?” he asked, rubbing his palms up and down her back. She let out a deep sigh and melted under his hands.

“Hmm.”

“What was that?” It took May a minute to answer, and Phil pressed his knuckles up her back to her neck. Her tendons were like steel cords, and she flinched and grunted as he worked his knuckles from her shoulders to the base of her skull.

“Shoulders.” Her voice was muffled against her hands. Phil gently ran his thumbs down her neck and over her shoulders. He winced; her shoulders were little more than one giant knot each. She had been under stress, what with flying the plane and keeping the kids safe and helping him manage the, as she called it, live-in daycare he had created, but he hadn’t realized the effect it had been having. She had been keeping it under tight control and it was manifesting in painful coils of tension.

He curled his fingers into her muscles and she tensed, her fingers clenching into fists. “Relax,” he said, and she hissed.

“I am relaxed,” she said, and groaned when he dug his elbow into her left shoulder. “That-” Her breath caught and Phil backed off, leaning down to look her in the face.

“Too much?” he asked, and swept a strand of hair off her forehead. She shook her head.

“Again,” she said through gritted teeth. Her eyes were squeezed shut. 

Phil worked up to it this time, first pressing deeper and deeper circles with his thumbs before he started using his whole hands. He moved his thumbs to her neck again while his palms pressed into her shoulders, and she made a long, low sound that was somewhere between a grunt and a groan.

“Too much?” Phil asked again, but she shook her head again, and little impatiently this time.

“Don’t stop.” Phil continued with his hands, smoothing away as much of the tension he could reach. When he returned to using his elbows, she let out a deep groan and screwed up her face. Phil pressed his elbow deep into her muscles and her breathing came short and shallow, but he felt the last, deepest knots of tension unfurling. He switched to the other shoulder and she hissed through her teeth.

After a few minutes with his elbow he went back to his hands, then to his thumbs, then just to his fingertips. She deflated, boneless, into the cushions. Phil dropped a soft kiss onto each of her shoulders, then the back of her neck, then finally her cheek. She let out a content hmming sound and didn’t move from the sofa.

* * *

Jemma stumbled into the lab, pale and shaking. Fitz looked up when she fell into a chair.

“Jemma?” he asked, frowning in concern.

“You were right, Fitz,” she said in a choked voice.

“Well, obviously,” Fitz said, and shut off the holotable. “About what?” She looked up at him with eyes full of suffering and unimaginable horrors.

“Coulson and May,” she said in a hushed voice. “I think-” She cut herself off and swallowed, and Fitz glanced around the lab before approaching her. “I think they’re having sex in his office.” Fitz blanched.

“What- right now?” Jemma nodded, close to tears.

“The noises, Fitz-”

“Well don’t-” Fitz looked around to make sure no one was coming in the back entrance and wrapped an arm around Jemma’s shoulders. “Don’t- try not to think about it, okay?” Jemma shuddered.

“What do we do?” she whispered. “Should we tell Skye?”

“Are you kidding?” Fitz yelped. “She’ll want to hack into the cameras to make sure!” Jemma went pale and nodded.

“Right,” she said. “Our secret.” Fitz nodded and patted her on the back.

“Well,” he said after a moment. “Not _our_ secret-”

“Fitz!”

**3\. Skye**

“Hey, A.C.” Skye said with a grin. He gave her a tired smile. “Good to have you back.”

“Yes, we’re very glad you’re not dead, sir,” Simmons said brightly, and Fitz nodded beside her. “Are you hurt?” Coulson shook his head.

“No, it went much better than the last time I was kidnapped,” he said, and Skye saw him sneak a glance at May. Her face remained as stony and unyielding as her arms crossed in front of her. “Not even a little dead.” May’s face darkened, and Skye barely kept herself from wincing.

“That was stupid,” May said bluntly, and Coulson didn’t bother denying it; unlike the incident with Raina and the memory machine, this kidnapping had been completely avoidable, which an angry May had constantly been making clear in the two days he had been missing. “And reckless.”

“Yep,” Coulson said. “Sorry, everyone.”

“It’s no problem, sir,” Fitz said. Coulson raised his eyebrows. “I mean, obviously it was a problem, but not- we don’t mind hunting you down. Or-”

“Thank you, Fitz,” Coulson interrupted, and smiled to show he had been joking. Skye felt something loosen in her chest. She hadn’t known Coulson, or any of them, very long, but it had still felt like a part of her was missing when he was gone.

May turned on her heel and strode away without another word, her hair swishing as she went. Coulson grimaced. He gave the team another quick, grateful smile, before hurrying after her. Skye waited until Coulson was up the stairs before she followed.

“Skye? What are you doing?” Jemma asked, though it seemed she already knew. Her face was scrunched up with anxiety.

“I’m making sure Coulson isn’t about to get himself killed,” she said, and took the stairs two at a time. “Stop looking at me like that!” she called without looking back.

She didn’t really have a plan, but it didn’t end up being important. “Skye!” Skye cursed.

“Yeah, Ward?” He didn’t ask her why she had been bolting towards Coulson’s office, which she was almost glad for. Then he kept talking.

“Set up the mats downstairs. We’re sparring.”

“What- right now?” There were no raised voices coming from Coulson’s office, which meant Coulson probably hadn’t said something stupid and made May angrier than she already was. Ward crossed his arms. “Fine,” Skye grumbled. “But it’s on you if May breaks Coulson’s face.”

* * *

He caught up to her just inside his door. “Melinda-” Before he knew what was happening she slammed into him, and he barely had time to open his arms before her arms were around his neck and her legs were around his waist. He instinctively held her to his chest, but she didn’t relax her death grip.

She hadn’t let him hold her like this in _years,_ since before Bahrain, and Phil belatedly realized just how worried she must have been.

“Oh,” he said softly. “Okay. Okay.” She buried her face in his neck and he raised one hand to cradle her head, easily holding her up with the other arm. “I’m sorry I scared you. But I’m okay now.”

“It was stupid to go in alone,” she said in a muffled voice. “You should have waited for me.”

“I should have,” he admitted. “But it’s okay now.”

He felt her heartbeat against his chest and knew she could feel his. His knees ached but he didn’t dare mention it; if this was what Melinda needed after chasing after him for two days, it was what she would get. 

Since the Battle of New York she had been hesitant around him, uncertain of what his heart could take, and even before that, she hadn’t liked feeling constrained in the years since Bahrain. So he was content to have her wrapped protectively and possessively around him, squeezing the breath out of him. Phil kissed her shoulder- it was all he could reach- and stroked his fingers up and down her spine. She relaxed a little and sagged in his arms.

“Have you slept?” Phil asked, and her silence was answer enough. “Melinda…”

“I couldn’t.” It was muffled in his neck, but Phil understood. “Not while you needed me. I couldn’t do nothing.”

“Okay,” Phil said softly, because her heart rate had picked up and her grip on him was tighter. Her fingers dug into his shoulders.

“I’m here now, Phil. I know I wasn’t before-”

“Hey.” Phil shifted and Melinda pulled back to look him in the face. “Don’t talk like that. It wasn’t your fault.” ‘It’ could have been several things, and Phil meant all of them- him stupidly going in alone, Raina kidnapping him, Loki’s scepter through his heart. Bahrain. Phil knew Melinda understood, even though her resigned expression told him she didn’t believe him. 

But she didn’t dispute him. She ran her fingers through his hair, parted it this way and that. Phil waited for a teasing comment about his increasing lack of hair, but it didn’t come, and somehow that was worse. Her hand trailed down his face and cupped his cheek, and the lingering sadness and fear on her face had him pulling her back against him.

“You have to let me be your partner, Phil,” she said softly.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Melinda tucked her head into the crook of his neck, lazily toying with the hairs at the nape of his neck. 

“Hey,” Phil said after a moment, “how about we put off refueling for a day, and just find a hotel for tonight?” Melinda was out of his arms so fast for a panicked second he thought he had blacked out and dropped her, but then he registered her stony expression and realized how she had misinterpreted him. “Not for _that,”_ he said. She crossed her arms, but didn’t back away when he took a step closer. “Just to sleep. In the same bed. Without worrying about the team finding us.” She pursed her lips, still annoyed, but allowed him to place his hands around her waist. Phil slowly lowered his forehead to hers, and the tension left her shoulders as she looked up into his eyes. She laid her head on his chest, arms still crossed.

“Okay.”

**4\. Skye again**

The soft sheets tangled around his body weren’t his, and for a moment he couldn’t remember why he wasn’t in his bunk on the Bus. Wherever he was, he had slept in- the midmorning sun reached him through his eyelids. A warm weight shifted on his chest, and Phil’s eyes snapped open.

Melinda’s head was pillowed on his shoulder and she had one hand over his heart. She was in a tank top and shorts and her hair was splayed over the pillow behind her, and Phil had an arm around her, half-supporting her. For a moment, all Phil could do was stare. She was achingly beautiful.

It had been months since they had been able to spend the whole night in one bed together, and Phil hated to end it, but they had both slept in.

“Melinda.” She made a muffled noise and curled closer to him, reaching her arm completely around his shoulder and tucking one leg between his. “Melinda.”

“Sh.” Phil smiled and gave her a moment, trailing his fingers up and down her ribs. Melinda shifted and opened her eyes. “What time is it?”

Phil squinted at the clock. “7:30.” Melinda pushed herself up into a half-seated position, and Phil missed her warmth.

“I slept for ten hours?” It was twice as much sleep as she usually got, but she had needed it. She swept her hair off her face and looked around the room, taking stock of her surroundings.

“Uh-huh.” The team hadn’t put up a fuss at the idea of staying in a hotel for the night. Ward had grumbled about the La Quinta they had found not being secure, but May had only given him a look and said “That’s why we’re here,” and he had settled down. The minute they had dumped their overnight bags in their rooms- Skye paired with Simmons, Ward with Fitz, and Phil and Melinda in their own separate rooms- Skye had dragged Fitzsimmons down to the pool. Ward had gone along, muttering about being the only adult, and had left Phil and Melinda alone and suddenly exhausted.

Phil had tugged Melinda into his room and given her a long, slow kiss that had her melting against him, then had stripped to his undershirt and boxers before falling into bed. Melinda had rustled around the room for another minute, changing into her pajamas and checking the exits, before she had slipped under the sheets next to Phil and curled into his arms. Phil didn’t remember anything after that, but he knew neither of them had had nightmares.

Phil shifted up a little in the pillows. “How did you sleep?” he asked, and Melinda looked down at him, still sleep-muddled. Phil took her hand and gently pulled it back over his shoulder, and she sank back onto his chest with a sigh.

“I slept,” she said, and Phil kissed her head.

“Me, too.” Melinda propped her chin up on his chest and her eyes roved over his face, still not completely alert. Phil toyed with a few strands of her hair and she tilted her head towards his hand. He smiled and cupped her cheek.

“Good morning,” she said quietly, and Phil sat up to draw her face closer to his.

“Good morning.” Phil didn’t mean for it to go beyond a soft brush against her lips, but then Melinda was straddling his lap and her fingers were threaded tightly through his hair, and Phil was slipping his hands up under her tank top and she moaned into his mouth.

The team would be looking for them soon but he couldn’t make himself care. They were all adults, they could entertain themselves for-

There was a knock on the door. “Coulson? Are you up?” Phil resisted the urge to bang his head back against the headboard. Melinda froze, and they both held their breath, waiting to see if Skye would just go away. “Hey, morning glory, shouldn’t we be leaving soon?” Phil’s forehead fell onto Melinda’s shoulder and he let out a deep sigh.

“Get in the shower.” Phil blinked.

“What-?”

“Get in the shower,” Melinda said in a low voice. “I’ll handle this.” She rolled off the bed and stripped off her pajamas, and in less than twenty seconds she was pulling on her vest and lacing up her boots. Phil stared, baffled but unwilling to question her. “Phil!” she hissed, and he jumped.

“Yep.” He jumped off the bed and darted to the bathroom.

* * *

“Coulson?” Skye knocked again, certain she had heard movement. “Co-” The door swung open and Skye blinked. “May.”

“Skye.” May offered no explanation, just stared as Skye struggled for words.

“I was- um- I wanted to talk to Coulson-”

“He’s in the shower,” May said in her blank voice. Skye glanced over May’s shoulder at the room, and looked May up and down. She looked the same as ever- SHIELD issued top, vest, boots, all in order. Not a single perfect hair was out of place. The bed only looked slept in, and true to May’s word, Skye heard the shower switch on as May stood silently in the doorway, waiting for her to speak.

“What are you-?”

“I’m going shopping,” May said, and suddenly a little hotel notepad was in her hand. “Do you want anything?” Skye blinked. Nothing was adding up.

“Uh-”

“Here.” May shoved the notepad into her hands. _Bread_ and _tortilla chips_ were already on the list in Coulson’s handwriting. “Add what you want, and ask the others. I’ll go out before we leave this afternoon.”

“Oh, um- okay.” May blinked once, then moved to shut the door. “Actually-” Skye held up the list. “I could go, if you want.” May stared at her, expressionless. “I’ve been going kind of stir crazy.” May looked at her for a few more seconds.

“Take Ward or Fitzsimmons,” she said, and shut the door without another word. Skye stared at the door with her mouth open.

“What just happened?”

**5\. The kids**

Phil reached to the side and snapped the blinds closed almost without a thought.

“I was hoping you’d come back.” Melinda didn’t respond. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

“I know.” He knew she wasn’t punishing him, she wasn’t spiteful like that. She had just closed herself off until she was sure he wouldn’t hurt her again. Phil’s heart tightened.

“Ward is-”

“Maria told me.” Phil nodded. “Vic’s dead.” It wasn’t a question, or a biting accusation, or even really a statement. It was just there, added to the list of every impossible thing they had been put through. He remembered Vic chasing after Melinda at the Academy, yelling at her to get off the roof, and later, staying with her whenever Phil was away on a mission. He realized there was one less good person in a world full of super-powered maniacs, and his shoulders drooped.

“Yeah.” 

Melinda’s face didn’t change, her voice was toneless as she answered, “I’m gonna kill Ward.”

“Get in line.” Melinda didn’t smile, but her face relaxed in a way that he knew she understood. They were on the same page.

More than anything, he was relieved to see her alive. Part of him didn’t really believe she could be killed, at least not by the likes of Ward, but everything in his life had been turned upside down and inside out in the last few weeks. Garrett was HYDRA, Melinda had lied to him, and for ten hours, he had been stupid enough to believe Victoria Hand would ever betray SHIELD. Now his plane was gone, his organization was in shambles, and the whole world believed Nick Fury was dead. And Vic was gone, like so many others lost in HYDRA’s initial attack.

But Melinda was back. Despite every accusation, every hurtful word he had thrown in her face, she had returned to him. That, at least, was certain.

“I should have known you were protecting me,” Phil said. She linked her fingers in front of her.

“I tried to stop them,” she said. “When I saw how much you were hurting. I told Fury to stop. He didn’t listen.” Phil’s shoulders sagged.

“Why did he do it?” he asked quietly. “Why me?” Melinda’s mouth twitched.

“I don’t know.”

Silence hung between them for what felt like an unbearably long time. Phil thought of Melinda being forced to watch as he begged to die, and the look in her eyes when he had accused her of being the Clairvoyant. When he had ICEd her, after everything she had done to protect him.

“I love you,” he said suddenly, because it was the most important thing he was desperate for her to understand. Her face softened.

“I know.”

Then she was in his arms, and she was real and she was safe, standing on her toes and tucking his head into the crook of her neck. He engulfed her and melted into her at the same time, surrounding and surrounded. Her heart was thrumming against his chest and he squeezed his eyes shut, memorizing the feel of it, the feel of her.

“I’m sorry about Vic,” he said into her hair, and a shudder ran through her. Her arms tightened around him.

“I’m sorry I left,” she whispered, and Phil left denying it for another time. He didn’t want an argument. He just wrapped his arms farther around her and gave himself a moment to be nothing but happy she was there.

* * *

“Do you think we should go talk to him?” Skye tore her eyes from Coulson’s door and met Jemma’s earnest eyes. There had been too much going on in the last few days for any of them to worry about him, but now that they had time to breathe, it was obvious how sad he was. Trip chalked it up to the fall of SHIELD, but Coulson hadn’t been sad when they left the HUB, he had been angry. At the world, at himself, at May. But now that SHIELD was well and truly gone, all the anger had sapped out of him.

None of them had realized how close Coulson and May had been until Coulson had been forced to function without her. A part of him had closed off, leaving only a hard, determined man where a kind, warm father-figure had been. It was like he had forgotten how to hope.

“I don’t think we could help,” Trip said gently. “It’s tough to lose a partner. I wouldn’t want company.”

“But he shouldn’t be alone,” Jemma argued, looking to Skye. “We’ve all lost so much, but he’s probably lost the most.”

“SHIELD was his life,” Skye said faintly. “And May-” None of them moved or even made a sound, but a spark of tension lit between them at her name. “May was his best friend.”

“She’ll be back,” Jemma said, and Trip’s face softened at the optimism shining in her eyes. “She has to. But until she does-” Jemma glanced around from Trip to Skye, neither of whom would meet her eyes, to Fitz, who shook his head. Jemma crumpled. “He should know he isn’t alone.”

“He knows,” Fitz said, and took her hand.

“Yeah,” Skye said. She glanced up at Coulson’s door again. “We should leave him alone, Simmons. The blinds are closed. He’s probably asleep.”

**+1. The kids again**

“You should go to bed.” Melinda just crossed her arms. Phil sighed and held up his folder. “I’ll be a few more hours with these.” Melinda raised her eyebrows.

“Reports from Koenig?” she asked, and Phil pursed his lips. “I know it’s big, Phil.”

“And classified.” Melinda’s expression darkened, and Phil’s annoyance faded away as quickly as it had come. Neither of them liked secrets between them, but this was necessary. “Melinda, if it becomes necessary, I’ll read you in.” Melinda gave him a wary look, but he let her read him. She relaxed when she saw he was being honest.

“Did you do any actual recruiting?” she asked with a shadow of a smile. Phil pulled a folder out of the pile on his desk and handed it over.

“Yep. Hartley’s in.” Melinda flipped through the papers and raised her eyebrows.

“She seriously expects this much?” Phil almost laughed.

“I think that was Hunter’s idea.” 

“Hunter? Lance Hunter?” Phil nodded, and felt Melinda’s tired grimace in his soul. “That’ll be fun.”

“Mm-hmm.” Melinda flicked through a few more pages. Phil leaned back in his chair and looked up at her.

She wouldn’t look tired to anyone else, but Phil knew the tiny crease in her brow and the shadows under her eyes. He also knew she was fighting it; her posture was uncomfortably stiff and her shoulders were tense. Phil frowned up at her for a moment before he understood.

“I’m not going to carve tonight.” Her mouth tightened at the corners. She didn’t look up from Hartley’s folder.

“It’s been thirty-two days,” she said stiffly. “You’re overdue.”

“It’ll be a few more days,” Phil said. Melinda didn’t move. “I promise.”

Melinda fixed him with a hard stare. Phil willed his hands not to twitch.

He really didn’t need to carve- not yet, anyway. The urge was there, it always was, but it wasn’t quite overwhelming. The letters in his reports weren’t swirling into circles and lines, he could hold a pen without digging it into the closest flat surface, and he could open his top right drawer without running his fingers over his knife. There were no alien maps in his dreams. Just a subtle itch under his skin, growing, but still small enough to ignore.

“Melinda.” He held out his hand and she reluctantly handed him the folder. “Go to bed.” She shifted her weight but made no move to leave. “Melinda-”

“I missed you.” It was so quiet he almost missed it, and then for a split-second he was sure he had imagined it. Her lips had barely moved, but her eyes flicked up to his, and they were more open and vulnerable than he had seen in a long time. Without a thought Phil stood and rounded his desk. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, and she closed her eyes and let out a long breath. Phil rested his forehead on hers. Her fingers curled in the fabric of his shirt, subconsciously keeping him close.

“I missed you, too,” Phil murmured. He leaned down so their noses brushed, and Melinda tilted her head up to meet him.

She was _tired,_ and scared. All the secrecy, and not knowing what was happening to him, it was in her lips, soft but insistent against his, and her fingers splayed over his heart. The last thing he wanted to do was break away.

He threaded his fingers through her hair and cupped her cheek, and her shoulders sank. She broke away, looking down at his chest.

“I really can’t put these off, though,” Phil said quietly. He kissed her forehead again. She took his hand on her cheek and kissed his palm.

“I know,” she said against his skin. Neither of them moved. 

Melinda’s face fell, and her fingers tightened around his hand. Phil could almost see the last few months weighing on her mind: rebuilding SHIELD while mourning the old one, training Skye and keeping her in the dark about his condition, worrying about the carving, wondering what it meant. The terror that it would drive him mad and she would lose him again.

During the busy days, the workload and the need for secrecy usually kept their anxieties at the back of their minds, but it was late, and they were alone. Melinda pressed her lips into a line. Phil wrapped both her hands in his and held them to his chest.

“I’m sorry.” She didn’t ask what he meant, just looked up at him and swept some of his hair to the side. Her fingers trailed down his face and her thumb brushed over his cheekbone. She glanced at his chair, then back up into his eyes.

It had been six years, but he knew what she was asking. He would have felt elated if it hadn’t been borne out of her fear of losing him.

He ignored the spark of terror that lit in his stomach and just said, “Okay.”

* * *

“Where did it go?” Jemma spun around, searching the floor, and paled when she found nothing. Fitz looked at Skye, his mouth open in silent dread. Skye held one of Mack’s manuals over her head, ready to throw it at the first opportunity. “Where is it?” she demanded.

“I don’t know!” Jemma said shrilly. Fitz flapped his hands, looking distressed. “It was right there!”

“And now it’s gone!” Skye yelled, and Fitz flinched. Skye lowered her voice. “Did either of you see which direction it went?” Fitzsimmons shook their heads, and Jemma grabbed Fitz’s arm. “Okay,” Skye said. “Okay. It’s just a spider. Just a spider.” She met Jemma’s eyes, then Fitz’s. As one, they all turned and fled.

They bolted up the stairs and sprinted through the base, skidding around corners and barely avoiding colliding with walls.

“Coulson!” Skye was first through his door, and pulled up so suddenly Jemma couldn’t stop in time. She didn’t let go of Fitz, and the three of them collapsed in a pile in Coulson’s doorway.

“Skye- what-?”

“Sh! Move- whose elbow is that-?” Skye hissed instructions and the three of them untangled themselves, not without some quiet swearing from Fitz. They straggled to their feet, muttering and shooting glares at each other.

“Evening.” Three heads snapped to Coulson’s desk, and Fitzsimmons’ eyes widened as they realized what had stopped Skye in her tracks.

Coulson was leaning back in his chair with his glasses on, looking a little haggard but not to a worrying extent. But none of them could really make a confident assessment, since a headful of black hair was mostly concealing his face.

May was straddling Coulson’s lap, and they couldn’t see her face, but she appeared to be asleep with her chin tucked into the crook of his neck. Her arms were around his neck, and Coulson had one hand on her back and a report in the other. He was reading it over May’s shoulder, and as they all stared, he puffed some of May’s hair out of his face.

Fitz’s face was saying it but his mouth couldn’t; he turned to Skye.

“What the _he-”_ Coulson looked at her over the rims of his glasses, and Skye’s mouth snapped shut.

“She was tired,” Coulson said, as if that were a perfectly valid reason to fall asleep on the director’s lap. “Do you three need something?” he asked in an even tone.

May looked tiny in his arms and extremely unthreatening, but they weren’t stupid. Skye expected any second for May to leap out of Coulson’s lap, probably do a flip over his desk, and hold a knife to their throats telling them to keep quiet or they’d regret it.

None of those things happened. May shifted a little and Coulson started rubbing circles on her back. There was a muffled murmur.

“It’s just the kids,” Coulson said quietly. He kissed the side of her head, and she snuggled deeper into him.

Something short-circuited in Skye’s brain. She glanced at Fitzsimmons and found them in a similar situation- Fitz’s mouth was hanging open, and Jemma’s lips were pressed together as if she were about to explode. She was a delicate shade of pink.

“Did you just kiss May?” Skye blurted, as if that were the most baffling part of this experience. Coulson raised his eyebrows like he had had the same thought, but he didn’t comment. He just nodded. “And she didn’t kill you?”

“You can see she didn’t,” Coulson said.

“Not yet.” Skye and Fitzsimmons froze, staring wide-eyed at May’s back, but she just dragged her hand to the top of Coulson’s head and started scratching lazy circles into his scalp. He made a pleased hmming noise.

There was silence for another moment before Coulson looked up at them again. “Do you three need something?” he asked again, a little more brusquely. 

“We’re just a bit confused, sir,” Jemma squeaked, and Fitz nodded emphatically. Coulson glanced between the three of them, then let out a sigh of deep disappointment.

“I told you,” he said into May’s hair. “You’re just that far out of my league. I don’t think they’ve even considered it.”

“Considered what?” Coulson gave Skye an unimpressed look like she had hurt his feelings. He used the folder to gesture to a photo on his desk that hadn’t been there a few days ago.

“Pulled that out of storage,” he said as Jemma cautiously stepped forward and picked it up. “Since things are stabilizing around here.” Jemma waited to flip the picture over until Skye and Fitz crowded around her.

Skye almost screeched.

“Is that-?” Fitz smacked her arm and she lowered her voice to a hiss. “Is that- are you married?” 

A much younger Coulson and May were on the steps of what looked like some kind of government building. Coulson had May in a bridal carry and her head was thrown back in laughter, and Coulson was looking at her like she had personally hung the stars. He was in a light blue button-up and she was in a white dress, and when Skye snatched the picture and squinted at their hands, she could barely make out silver wedding bands.

“Oh,” Jemma said lamely. “Well, that’s- um- how long have you two been together?”

“Twenty-six years,” Coulson said. “Married twenty-four.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Simmons.” Coulson tossed the folder onto his desk and wrapped his arm around May. He looked between the three of them, and they stared at him in stunned silence. “You know what,” he said, and tilted his head to look down at May, “I think I’ve done enough paperwork for now.” 

“Yeah?” Skye could hear the smile in May’s voice. 

“Mm-hmm.” Coulson pressed a smacking kiss to May’s cheek, and she giggled. Skye felt indecent just hearing it. Coulson hitched his hands under May’s thighs and stood, and Skye caught a flash of a grin on May’s face as Coulson strode out of the room with May wrapped tightly around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of random but I hope you liked it! Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought :)

**Author's Note:**

> Melinda may or may not have been responsible for a prank that led to every garment that went through the men's laundry being covered in pink glitter. She's not allowed in the men's dorms anymore.  
> Thanks for reading!!! I have one-shot ideas for this universe, and I might write out a few, but for now this is it. I hope you liked it :)  
> PS- no editor, all mistakes are mine.


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